I'm as democratic as the next guy, you flake.
Like most arguments in the carpool, today's argument started over something trivial: This blog.
The dispute: When was Mumbles going to finally pony-up and show even the slightest bit of interest in the blog?
Mumbles maintained that he was not going to do anything about the blog -- not even take 4 seconds to visit the website -- until he received full "administrator" status. My contention was that he should have to pass some sort of test to show that he is trustworthy and responsible before he is given full authority over this blog. He accused me of using the blog to run some sort of dictatorship. I accused him of being a flake, who still can't figure out how to change his friggin' voicemail at work.
Well that started it. Like most arguments in the carpool, voices were raised, alliances were formed, voices were raised again, and then alliances shifted. At the final count, the vote was 3 to 1. That is, three members of the carpool voted that I was an undemocratic "Fidget-mouth" (can you believe it?). And one person voted that I was not.
I sat in the driver's seat trying to figure out how it all went so wrong. (Of course, now, with the benefit of hindsight, it has become clear: Sparky will come to the defense of just about any fool, so long as the fool is pitiful; trust me, Mumbles is. And Madd Dogg was probably still pissed at me because I repeatedly walked in front of her on the way to the car this afternoon, making her slow down and change course. She hates that.)
At any rate, it was decided by a vote of 3 to 1 that Mumbles would be given the following test:
- At about 9:30 pm tonight, I sent Mumbles an invitation to become a formal member of this blog. (No, Mumbles, you can't actually become an "administrator" until you first sign up. But if you complete this test, I will then dutifully change your status to "administrator.")
- From 8:00 am tomorrow, when Mumbles will first be able to check his email, he will have 72 hours (until 8:00 am Friday morning) to become computer literate and post an entry on this blog.
- If he does so, he will have proven his trustworthiness, he will have earned the eminent title of "administrator," and I will eat humble pie -- a dish that I have learned, through vast experience, is best served cold.
So the carpool has thrown the gauntlet down. Will Mumbles answer?
posted by Ryan @ 9:13 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
It's almost been 24 hours and no sign of Mumbles. I have to admit that I thought he'd come through by now, but I suppose there is plenty of time. Oh, Mumbles, just use the same drive and determination that you used with those Deadheads and the toll roads across New York. Show the pseudo-dictator-o'blog that you can do it!
Mumbles- my father is a mumbler and all his life he has been discriminated against for being a mumbler. But do not worry. I am working to amend ORS 659A to include mumblers as a protected class. I also plan on getting the Constitution amended to make English and Mumbling the State languages. Mumbling will be taught in schools. The Governor will give the State of the State address in English and Mumbling. Road signs will be changed to include both languages. Tillamook and Polk Counties will be designated Mumbling only counties while the rest of the State will be dual language counties. Once mumblers are recognized as a protected class mumblers throughout the State will no longer need to be ashamed of their mumbling. They will be free to mumble their way through life.
And Fidget, before you make a decision on who should choose Jared’sKeeper and Schmitty’s child’s name, I think you should read Schmitty’s blog. She called you “the power” and she told Mumbles to “fight it.” That’s insurrection. And clearly one who has such little respect for the Court of Names should not be entrusted with the naming of a child.
And Madd Dogg- an update on Jared. The cops found him passed out under the Burnside Bridge with a bunch of skate boarders with a heroine needle in his tail and an empty Mickey’s Large Mouth 40 ouncer by his side. Of course he was laying in a poll of his own vomit. But not to worry, I convinced Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt that Jared was an orphan from Nepal. They are in the process of adopting him.
Oh Jared. What has happened? He had worked his way through ten of the twelve steps! Did he not call his sponsor?? So glad he's with Brad and Angelina, they will give him more than we ever could. Certainly they can afford better rehab....
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