Taking Notes

I've been taking fish oil two times a day, in hopes that my memory will improve. Still, when I sit down at my computer to tell you all about the things that happened in the carpool, I often draw a blank. Today, I thought I would try to remedy the problem by taking notes; here's what I got:

Driver: Madd Dogg

Rider(s): Just me (Fidget). Sparky and Mumbles drove separately.

Number of people at whom Madd Dogg honked her horn: Zero. (Surely, a personal best.)

Topics discussed:

1. The Holy Foreskin -- Ok, I'm totally not making this up. According to wikipedia, the holy foreskin is, well, Jesus's foreskin. Apparently, after Jesus was circumcised, someone kept the foreskin. Why, you may ask? Well, it could have been because the foreskin is said to possess miraculous powers. Many churches throughout history have claimed to possess Jesus's foreskin, and as recently as 1983, it was paraded through Calcutta. Then it was stolen. (Typical.) So great was the power of the "holy prepuce" that 17th Century theologian Leo Allatius believed that the foreskin "divinely ascended" to become the rings of Saturn. (To that, I say this: If any of my body parts are going to ascend into space and transform into a celestial being, I'd like it to be one of the body parts that my bathing suit does not cover. Like my toe.)

2. Van Halen -- I asked Madd Dogg if she ever liked the music group Van Halen. After a pregnant pause, she said simply, "Not so much." According to Madd Dogg, Eddie Van Halen (one of the band's two namesakes) was "just kind of fuzzy." Madd Dogg was equally unimpressed when I told her that Alex Van Halen (the drummer) was apparently able to simulate a motorcycle with his drum kit. ("Hmm," she said. "Fascinating.")

3. Ban on male gynecologists -- Madd Dogg's idea. I think it may have some merit too.

4. Sexual orientation of Andrew Ridgeley, former member of Wham! -- Although Madd Dogg and I know that George Michael is gay, we were wondering about Andrew -- the less popular member of the band. My research tells me that he likely is not gay. According to wikipedia, he currently lives with his "partner," Karen Woodward of the 80's group Bananarama.

[Photo by Elsie esq.]