Weenie Retort

I am disappointed in Madd Dogg. You may have seen her blog entry for Friday, September 15 [“Weenies”], in which Ms. Dogg assailed the rest of her carpool by saying that we use our car horns in a “weenie-ly manner, which is to say that [we] don’t use them at all.”

I don’t want to speak for the rest of the carpool, but Ms. Dogg’s statement hath offended me, Fidget. For you, dear reader, to understand why that is so, a little background is necessary:

On Friday evening, Madd Dogg and I were the only ones in carpool. Madd Dogg was driving. Madd Dogg approached a four-way intersection with the green light, but she correctly waited to enter the intersection until the car in front of her could clear the crosswalk on the other side. At that time, some shit-head jackass in a red Volkswagen Beetle turned into her lane -- against a red light -- further clogging the crosswalk and impeding our travel.

Frustrating? Absolutely. But was the dipshit’s offense so great as to deserve not one, not two, but three honks issued from Madd Dogg’s horn? I wouldn’t think so.

But that’s not why I’m disappointed in Madd Dogg.

I’m disappointed because I greatly admired Madd Dogg’s unharnessed reaction to the other driver (even if I was a bit scared that he was going to get out of his car and beat us senseless), and I was going to tell you all about my admiration for her. Friday evening, I set to work on a blog posting that would sing of Madd Dogg’s heroic automotive acts. I saved a “draft” of the beginnings of my blog posting and went to dinner.

When I returned to complete the posting, I saw that Madd Dogg had posted “Weenies,” and my heart sank. Madd Dogg evidently went to the blog site to start a blog posting of her own, saw that I was going to enter a posting about her honking proclivity, and assumed that I was going to libel her in some way. Then, operating under a Bush-like “shoot-first-and-ask-questions-later” doctrine, Madd Dogg libeled the rest of the carpool – calling us “weenies.”

My options at this point are to “honk back,” in a manner of speaking, and publicly berate Madd Dogg for name-calling. Or I can be a “weenie,” so to speak, and tell Madd Dogg that I am proud of how she uses her car’s horn.

I guess I’ll be a weenie.

[Photo of Madd Dogg’s “horn-happy” hands, by Fidget]