Madd Dogg Attempts to Shed "Firecracker" Image

I don't care what Tipper Gore says. Cuss words are ok with me. And they used to be ok with Madd Dogg. But today, Madd Dogg learned that her foul language had, in part, contributed to her image as a "firecracker" in the mind of at least one person whom she had never met.

Madd Dogg wasn't angry when she learned about her image. But she did seem genuinely surprised that someone would think of her as a firecracker. And Madd Dogg's surprise was, in turn, genuinely surprising to the rest of the carpool (and probably anyone who knows her).

At any rate, Madd Dogg decided that, by golly, she was going to stop swearing as of 6:02pm today. And her definition of swearing is truly ambitious. In addition to all of the ordinary cuss words -- e.g., those pertaining to genitalia, poop, pee, and female dogs -- she also vowed not to say several words that parents now let their four-year-olds say -- e.g., damn, Hell, Jesus Christ, and God.

Now if you know Madd Dogg, you immediately understand that this just cannot work. (I mean, really, can a fish live without water?) But, hey, who are we to get in the way of self-improvement? And more importantly, won't it be fun to watch Madd Dogg cringe and try to keep mum when George Bush comes on the radio?

I give her until 8:08 am tomorrow. . .

[Photo by happy via]