How Lame Are We?

Answer: Very, very lame. Severely lame, if you will. If anyone has noticed, it's been a long time since anyone (well, Fidget or I) have posted anything. And the last thing I posted was really not all that funny. The reason for our lack of posts could be the departure of Sparky and Mmmumbes, it could be our lack of creativity, or it could be that we're boring even ourselves with our juvenile antics.

In fact, the SFZ'ers have reached such a point of near complete ambivalence about this blog that we've discussed shutting it down.

No no, it's okay, don't cry. Please? I hate it when you cry. No, seriously, stop. Oh sheesh, now it's getting embarassing, you're crying so hard you're literally heaving, dear reader. Super, here come the crying jag hiccups...okay, fine, one last story about our dearly departed Mumbles. But I can't promise that we'll follow this story up with anything nearly as funny. Ever.

And I didn't make this up. I couldn't have made it up. It was such a perfect ending to Mumbles last day in carpool. Rider X and I were talking about whether Netflix's 2 at a time plan or the 3 at a time plan was the best. As an aside, Fidget and I are long time Netflix members. During the time that Mumbles was in the carpool, I'm certain that we talked about Netflix nearly every single day. Mumbles would occasionally talk about renting a movie, but mostly it appeared to us that he was a go to the movie theater kind of guy.

So, X and I are talking about Netflix, and Mumbles pipes up that he's a fan of the 3 at a time plan. I tell him to shut it, and he says, "No, seriously. I'm on the 3 at a time plan." I understood this to mean that he had recently joined Netflix, so I congratulated him for finally joining the 21st century.

I then begin to wonder why Mumbles looks so sheepish. Turns out that he's been a member of Netflix the entire year he's been in our carpool. In and of itself, that's unremarkable. Kinda weird he never said anything, but whatever. What is remarkable is that he's had the SAME THREE MOVIES FOR A YEAR AND A HALF!! Kid you not. Like I said, couldn't make this up if I tried. I nearly crash in the Terwilliger Curves I was laughing so hard. Fidget wasn't with us, but I called him right away and told him. It was just about as Mumbles-like as Mumbles gets.

Mumbles accused me of "making it sound worse than it is." As if that's possible. He explains that he joined to avoid late fees. While that may have been a good plan, it doesn't work so well when you don't return the movies you have and then have to rent from the video store. He explained that he just chalks the $18 a month up as "lost money." I, in turn, explained that he could put the movies in the mail (gasp!) and get new ones.

I haven't heard from Mumbles since.