Now That's Just Unsafe

Sparky and Fidget have had a long standing issue with Mumbles and I. To wit: Mumbles and I tend to take off our seat belts when we are approaching our destination rather than, as Fidget and Sparky would prefer, when we're actually at our destination. Fidget has attempted to explain why this bothers him so, something along the lines of how if we take off our seatbelts and we get into an accident, we become a missile or bullet or some kind of projectile that would then pose a danger to someone else in the car. I'm really not clear on how that works exactly, but that's what he says. As for why this bothers Sparky, I can only hazard a guess along the lines of how, technically, we are violating some law.

It is, indeed, a bad habit. My excuse is that I used to live with a cop, and that's what cops do...they take off their seatbelts as they are approaching a scene so that they can hop out of their car and violate some poor schmuck's civil rights more quickly than they could have if they took off their seatbelt after arriving at the scene. So I learned to take off my seatbelt before getting somewhere, just in case...I don't know why Mumbles does it, but he does it way earlier even than I do (if he puts on his seatbelt at all, which is a whole other posting).

Anyway, as I mentioned, every time that Mumbles or I prematurely unbelt, Sparky and Fidget freak out. It's really quite tiresome. Today, however, Sparky felt the need to make more of a point than he usually does. We were like inches from our drop off point and Mumbles and I unbelted. Sparky, in response, stomped on the breaks in an attempt to purposely propel our foreheads into the dash. I, of course, anticipated this assholic maneuver and caught myself with my arm (which fortunately didn't snap in two). How rude is that? Sparky was willing to go so far as to hurt two people to make a point, and that made me sad.

My sadness was short lived, however. Sparky and I live near each other, so I was following him on the drive home. Across the middle of the road strode a group of boys, looking like they were up to no good and most definitely not obeying any right of way laws. Sparky had to slow and, as I was behind him, I had to slow too. That pissed me off. Being Madd Dogg, I honked at them. Only they thought it was Sparky who had honked at them, and made all sorts of pissed off gestures at him instead of me. Ha! Feel that Sparky? That's instant karma kicking you in the ass.