When Good Pets Go Cold

On the way home in carpool today (it was just Madd Dogg and Sparky), Sparky was telling me about his turtle wanting to snuggle. I know, a turtle who wants to snuggle? They're hard and cold and I guess I thought that Sparky was a little, well, projective when he said that his turtle wanted to snuggle. Anyway, he told me that yesterday his turtle was staring up from the floor, looking longingly at his dad, and indicating, apparently, that it wanted to snuggle because it's been so cold. Sparky, who was on the couch, under a blankie and with plenty of room to share, informed his turtle that that he wasn't "in the mood" to snuggle.

I thought this was most abominable behavior, so I got all superior on his ass. I explained that, as a pet owner, it's not about the person - it's about what the pet wants. If the pet wants to snuggle, hard and cold as it may be, the owner better damn well snuggle with it! By way of superior example, I told him that I was going home and, in the dark, sub zero weather, I was going to take my dog running because I had promised him that morning before I left for work that I would. So I get home, get out of my work clothes, bypass the flannel pjs, and get in my running clothes, hat, gloves, the whole works. I'm like 100 degrees before we even leave the house. But we're out and we're going, just like I had promised my dog.

The first two blocks go well. He's running like a mad dog (ha!). But then I feel a tug at the leash, and figure he's just stopped to pee where 10 other dogs have peed that day. Only then I look down and it turns out that he's just sitting there on the sidewalk looking at me. Granted, I look like a freak all bundled up (did I mention it was dark and freezing?) so I thought maybe he had one of those little kid walked up to the wrong parent in the grocery store moments. But when I tug at the leash, he doesn't budge. At all. I tug some more, and he just continues to stare at me like I've lost my mind. Remember, this run is for him, not me. I'm perfectly content to be at home at that moment with my pjs and a glass of Italian red wine. I tug some more, he doesn't budge, his collar comes off and he's running away. I use my most imposing voice, he comes back, the collar goes back on. I tug one last time and I'll be goddamn if he doesn't LAY DOWN in the MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. Flat out lays down like I killed him. I tug a little on the leash, and he just kind of gets dragged along on the road. Any longer and I'll be hooked up for animal cruelty. So I say, okay, let's go home, and damned if the little love of my life doesn't set a new record for how fast he ran those two blocks back home.

The moral of this overly involved, overly long story? Sparky, you had it right. I would've been better off getting off my high horse and agreeing that sometimes, it's just okay not to be in the mood to dote on your pet. Woulda saved me a cold ass "run" in the dark.