Madd Dogg: A True Zentra Patriot

Usually, I hate Thanksgiving. Oh, sure, Thanksgiving means that I get a day off work and an unrestricted license to eat myself into a new pant size.

But Thanksgiving also means that I actually may have to give thanks for something. And that possibility leads to my fear that during the traditional Thanksgiving gathering -- trimmed with all of the stumbling conversations and awkward silences with people whom I have not seen since last Thanksgiving -- some yahoo will walk up and ask me what I'm thankful for.

This year, however, I'm not afraid. And it's all thanks to Madd Dogg.

This year, if some corny cornball has the gall to ask me what I'm thankful for, I don't have to give my usual answer ("Underarm deodorant"). Instead, I'm going to stand tall, look that schmuck straight in the eyes, put my right hand on my heart, and say:

By God, I'm thankful for Madd Dogg.

In recent days, Madd Dogg has been nothing less than a beacon of hope for this blog. In the face of my second bout of the flu last week (don't even get me started on that one), Madd Dogg grabbed the SFZ reins, held on tight, and fired off five -- five! -- blog entries in a row. Not only did she shatter the SFZ record for consecutive blog postings, she held this blog together when the only other poster (me) was out of commission.

So Madd Dogg, this year, I'm thankful for you.

Mumbles and Sparky, you can suck it. You didn't do shit. . .

On a lighter note, now it's time for . . . fun Thanksgiving facts! (Brought to you by www.wikipedia.org.)

• Squanto, a Native American who hung out with the pilgrims, taught them how to catch eel. Which leads to a question: Why don't we eat more eel at Thanksgiving? No doubt because the stuffing lobby is way too powerful. . .
• In 1939, President Franklin D. Roosevelt declared that Thanksgiving would be the next-to-last Thursday of November rather than the last. And of course, because this is America, his decision was based on hopes that stores would sell more worthless crap before Christmas. What a patriot.
• In Canada, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday in October. Which means that those wacky Canucks have a much longer shopping season.

[photo by thomas hawk]