A 5:04 p.m. Phone Call

5:04 Wednesday evening: Madd Dogg, having worked at home, is at home. All other members of the carpool are, in fact, in the carpool headed towards Portland. Madd Dogg's cell rings.

Fidget: Madd Dogg, make Sparky stop.

Madd Dogg: Make him stop what?

Fidget: He won't answer my question, and he won't tell me why he won't answer my question.

Mumbles (in the background): Bladleoucljhfs 94875 aljsacoiuvalkawer.

Madd Dogg, oh oh oh so patiently: Let me talk to Sparky.

Sparky: What up?

Madd Dogg: Stand firm, don't answer the question and don't answer why you won't answer the question.

Sparky: Okay. Handing you back to Fidget.

Fidget: Madd Dogg, you didn't even try.

Madd Dogg: You gotta use the reverse psychology on him. Sparky loves to be obstinate and obstreperous, and he loves it even more when it drives you crazy. Act like you don't care, and he'll start vomiting answers left and right.

Fidget: But I want to know the answer now.

Madd Dogg: Repeats what she just said, like three more times.

Fidget, deep sigh of disappointment: Fine. See you tomorrow.

No one ever called me back. I'll bet five Arby's roast beef sandwiches - whether they cost $5 or $5.95 - that Fidget couldn't implement any reverse psychology and that things got even worse after the phone call. Next time, I'll put on my super Madd Dogg cape, fly to the car, and jump up and down on Sparky 'til he answers the damn question. Save myself some precious cell phone minutes.